JabberJuls

Russ and I have to attend a parenting class as part of Luke’s court orders. Here we are the victims and we have to be punished. The court recommended one that was a 12-week course that provides a certificate upon completion. Ok, we figured what the heck maybe we’ll learn something.

Last night was the first class. Get this…No Teaching, just a venting session. The class is called Effective Parenting Techniques. You would think they would discuss parenting techniques at least. Nope…not in this class. It was torturous for 1 hour & 45 minutes straight. The teacher was nice and excused us early. I felt depressed, drained–like the life was sucked out of me. I felt stupider for just enduring such a gripe session.

Worst part for me- I talked to the teacher afterwards to see if all classes are run by the parents talking about whatever they want or is there a point of actually being taught something? She got defensive and blurted this is my style–there isn’t teaching just group talking. I asked her how do you learn anything? All she could say is this is my style.

She had a great Topic Outline, but no one stayed on topic at all. It was torture listening to a black woman complaint about being forced to take the class, her son lied about her hitting him, she can’t understand why even though in her past her kids were taken from her home because she hit them, but don’t you know she’s a new person. Just the way she talked you could tell she was a verbally abusive woman to everyone she comes in contact with. Her son is 11-years old, she’s a single mom raising 3 children, works hard, gives them every material thing they want, etc & so on.

Another woman told us how to Pretend you are a Foster Parent and you can get free certificates for all kinds of classes. Do it!! The courts will love all the phony certificates. WhaT is she thinking??? Don’t you dare speak up about it being wrong to lie for a certificate though.

Yet another woman took a half hour sharing her life’s soap opera of husband’s affairs, children’s birth defects (due to drugs not sure), losing her children to cps before and again, etc etc etc.

Yes, I have empathy, but I have my own issues to work through. I hoped to be educated on new techniques of parenting that is effective. This is a crock to think that will happen in these classes. Ok, I realize a little time to talk can be good, not for 2-hours straight.

Does the court realize that Parents aren’t being taught anything, just tortured mentally with other people’s drama? The teacher had a great outline, but no depth into the big words. Explain what democratic, permissive, or authoritarian is. What balance is appropriate? How a healthy relationship should look. Don’t let parents that clearly aren’t successful continue their habits thinking it works for me so it’s good. Discuss alternatives to spanking and how to implement it. Teach what is appropriate words to say to your child.

Heck…one person felt they can degrade their child with witty put downs and it’s good, they are consistent with them, and active in their childs life to not miss an opportunity to do that. What??? It’s a put down. Just because you think it’s funny, doesn’t make it good. What message are you sending your child? Negative ideas about themselves–like he’s stupid, worthless,etc. The teachers comment is you have to figure out what works for you. What about some guidelines fir people that think they’re doing right and don’t realize they’re not. Too controversial to discuss what is right from wrong?

I’m just blown away how this can qualify to the courts as a class to learn something useful.
Well, I’ll be searching for a different class.