JabberJuls

Wow… to my surprise my sibling honestly believes its OK for her to gossip lies about me to my siblings and mother, hold hidden bitterness and jealousy against me which a few crept out at the funeral, and yet feels I’m under bondage of sin and must surrender to the Lord fully. LOL

BEWARE OF CHRISTIANS LIKE THIS
This paragraph is the perfect example of a Christian that feels they are Holier than anyone or at least me anyway. She doesn’t even know me (She knows my siblings and Mother tho LOL) and yet has made this judgment against me. Scary to know she really believes this is a way to keep peace and unity. Good try, but its time to read it back to yourself Robin and take your advice as well. I’m praying for you to see the Truth too.
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For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
— Jeremiah 29:11

As God is at work in our lives, we may see only a brushstroke here or a dash of color there and say, “Wait. What is this? I don’t know if I agree.” We need to step back and give God room.
There will be an expected end. There will be a completion. And ultimately, it will be good. God had a future for Paul, and God has a future for you. And in that final day, Jesus is not going to say, “Well done, good and successful servant.” He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” So be faithful.

Merry Christmas to all and
to all a goodnight.

Beware of & Stay away from Fake people that have two faces. If you discover some, run before they torture the life out of you with their lies & perspectives

BE REAL- what you see is what you get with no mind games kind of person.

Life is too short to pretend you are family when you aren’t.
Accept the truth and move on.

If you are lucky enough to have real people in your life, treasure them and cherish every moment you are blessed with.

Dad I love you and thank you for blessing me by being real. Jesus I’m hanging onto you for dear life and you alone. Help our families. In Jesus name I ask, amen.

It’s funny how my siblings have this perception that I hold hatred against someone when I don’t. What I do hate is their manipulation of the truth–even God hates that! They clearly don’t know me.

Are they Judging Me? LOL just something my siblings tell everyone not to do to them. God knows my heart & what I saw & the choice I’ve made to stay away from further happenings. Is it so hard to respect my choice too? I’ve respected yours to go on as if nothing happened. I believed I am actually a blood sister the last I knew–does that count for anything? No you say. Ok.

Its Just like this…when you discover places not safe to walk in your neighborhood, you don’t walk that way. It is to avoid any problems for yourself or others. Is that hatred? Not at all–it’s called being smart.

There is a difference between hatred & choosing not to be around someone.
Just because my siblings can’t understand that concept they slap on my mom this nonsense trip that I’m full of hatred. We all choose to believe what we want so i’ll respect your belief and expect you to respect mine.

So why is your perception the only way? Hmmm to isolate me (a sister) and show hatred against me. So who has hatred here?

Whatever… God knows my heart not you.

Proverbs 10:18 (New Living Translation)
18 Hiding hatred makes you a liar;
slandering others makes you a fool.

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I read this verse today in my daily reading and it hit home for me. Pretty much sums up my situation I’m facing from my brothers and sisters in a nutshell. Telling me after the funeral how they’ve resented Dad’s love for me all my life and we never had a true relationship–I feel They’ve hidden hatred against me in their heart’s for so long. Guess I was the only one living a Fantasy that I had brothers & sisters. They’re good–to smile and hug me and pretend they cared when around me, but hidden inside is pure hatred. I feel sorry for them living that way. I believed our love and relationship to be real, so to face this new reality of theirs is Mind-shattering. My sister Robin feels its her obligation to tell the siblings I’m always a problem (slandering me)–heard her myself as she turned to family right in front of my face at the funeral–instead of seeing me as a sister loving mom and honoring her wishes. Just because I wanted to verify mom’s true wishes about an issue that affected my family, I’m now an outsider to the siblings and mother too backing the craziness. Crazy stuff.

*sharing my shattered heart trying to understand in love. now I understand why the Lord will let go of us and allow us to turn to a reprobate heart– if we reject him. times like these you have to let go if all people see is evil from you when its love and can’t see the good that is honestly in you–what choice do you have? Let Go! Lord, I give this issue to you again. Forgive me for anything I’ve done and I forgive them for not realizing what they are doing.

Dad I miss you! Thank you for loving me so much that I know without a doubt Jesus loves me even more, which astounds me to realize there is possibly more.

Jesus I don’t understand what’s happening with misplaced blame & hatred towards me, but I know you do. Realizing I’m not wanted and looked at as being horrible for ensuring Mom’s wishes is heart breaking. Realizing the hatred behind the smiles & hugs is like a knife to my throat. Lord forgive me for anything I may have done unknowingly to cause hurt to them.

I thank you for the blessing of knowing how great your love is from my earthly Dad and I hold on to that to go on living each day the best I can handling situations with love the best I know how.

One saying of deep wisdom my brother told my mother years back and she shared with me was, “You can’t make someone love You.”

These words at one point in time hurt mom deeply for years hearing her own son say them to her. We all naturally believe the family we are born into just loves you no matter what you do. Most people believe being family attaches an invisible string to each other so you are never alone or isolated. Well, that’s how God intends family to be, but when jealousy, hatred, and other nonsense gets in the way–these words are the comforting truth. You can’t make anyone On this earth Love You.
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I think my siblings and mom went insane.
Wow… I lose my Father to discover my siblings and mother resent the love my father had for me. Don’t understand why all these years they pretended to care about me and yet hated my guts.

I’m sorry my Fathers love for me caused all you siblings such pain. I pray you all are able to unite as you so desire with me out of this family.
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GROSSMONT SCHOOL DISTRICT OFFERS MANY ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS.
Don’t let them discourage you from making the choice to utilize them for your student. Remember YOUR student Funds their School that’s why the don’t inform you of your options.

Phoenix Program is one option for an Independent Study Program with a Teacher assigned to your student. Only attends school one day a week and complete packet of paperwork and take test to finalize grades. Excellent program. Avoid TEACHER & ADMINISTRATION campus drama. Your grade is Your grade…no one to interfere with the grade you deserve. Do the work, take the test and get the grade to reflect your hard work and knowledge! My son went from Teacher given D’s & F’s to A’s & B’s. No nonsense and drama.

NOTE TO PARENTS – don’t feel like your student is stuck in the normal Public School System environment. There are many options for your student that the Administrators refuse to tell you about. You are in control of where and how your student receives education. Research your Local Programs for your school district and utilize your Educational options as a Parent to find the best environment for your child. Don’t allow the normal High School campus environment become a prison to your student. This setting may or may not be the best environment for your student to succeed and feel valued as a person. KNOW your choices.

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Life sure does take you by surprise doesn’t it? Just when you think you can take a deep breath and enjoy life a bit, boommmmm….something hits you from behind. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in Limbo. Just taking whatever happens with a smile and God’s grace to handle it the best I can.

I just pray the Lord keeps me til his return. This world is so full of nonsense…what is right is being twisted into being wrong and intolerance. Morals seem scarce. Someone with a good Conscience is hard to find.