Wow– my siblings are just plain nuts. They are so fake it makes you want to throw up. Wendy has chosen to help mom with her stoma and take control of Mom’s life, so for me and my family–its basically a business relationship for me with her at the moment. At least she has the decency to give us time with Mom alone.

Poor Robin, just can’t get a clue that her two-faced, fake, legalistic, busy-body self isn’t wanted near me or my family. She has no respect to even allow our family time with mom alone. Her false perspective of me that she insists on being truth by gossiping and backbiting in front of me–makes me want to vomit right in her face. Sounds rude…but that’s the reality of how she makes me feel.

Robin, Why again do you feel the need to rush over to Mom’s house when I and my family visits Mom now? (which we were really close to Mom and Dad before you got involved to interfere with that and force your nonsense on Mom–Dad would so put you in your place for doing what you do) You realize we see you and Wendy quickly calling each other to notify each other of our presence right? And then for you to show up as if you want to start something with us or just stop our relationship with Mom. Or how you choose to go off whispering back and forth to each other and stop when we walk by? Or just plain stay right there not giving us space with Mom, as if to intimidate Mom from talking to us about things she might not want to say in front of you. Why again are you like this? We know Mom and she knows us…if anything –You are the stranger that should be monitored. I’ve backed off and respected Mom allowing you to do whatever to her and her affairs…now show the same respect and allow us our time with Mom alone.

Robin I know you read this. I can’t say it any clearer than this..Please stay away when my family comes to visit mom. Have the decency to allow us our relationship without your busy-bodiness interfering in my last moments with my Mother. You have what you want from mom now…so back off from me and give me my time with mom. I know when the time comes, if mom requests at her death moment, we will have to be near each other, but that’s it. Time for you to face that we will never have relationship.

It is what it is… Nothing! Respect the fact I’m mother’s child too and don’t need your nose in my relationship with her, just as I’m respecting mom’s decision to allow you to change all her plans she and Dad already had in place.

I realize we are all mom’s children and that’s the only connection we will ever have together. There is and will never be relationship as a family should be and how I’ve apparently fantasized it was since birth. My father and mother have treated us kids as loving parents all our lives the best they could. How all of my siblings choose to perceive their relationships in our family is your choice. I’ve only known you all as my brothers and sisters-until now. You treat strangers as family and me as if I’m nothing. You all push your way by not communicating and resolving, but isolating and non-communication. Thank God you aren’t my Jesus. I had believed we were a family, which was a LIE. Well peeps… my siblings are whacked and I will not believe the LIE or live it any longer. I will live as the truth of our lives are. There are so many issues my siblings have held on to since childhood against me, things that I have no clue of and worse that I personally didn’t even do to them–my parents did, that is just plain lunacy to live like that. I feel for you all and pray the Lord helps you throw those issues.

Funniest thing of all, my oldest sibling has enough “Holier than thou” attitude to believe I’m the one that needs to forgive them for something and yet won’t admit or even recognize all the stuff she holds against ME. Well Robin to possibly help you go forward, here’s what you might want me to say. “I forgive you for anything you believe I hold against you–whatever that may be– I forgive you for being a two-faced, back-biting, busy-body, that feels anything I say is a lie, kind of person that I’ve finally discovered that you are and I now choose to stay away from you to live the life Lord desires me to live without your interference in it. Please respect my choice and I’ll respect you are who you are. My loving hopes for you is that you Live for Jesus the best you can too.”(Warning to the World: If you are a REAL person– you want to RUNNNNN from my siblings…. and stay far away as you can. If you are a Gossip and like living like that… you’ll get along fine with them.)

Woo… I think I’ll just live my life living REALITY thank you…. no way can I fathom the false realities they want to project about me and gossip as if its true. Life if fun enough seeing where the Lord takes me….don’t need my siblings craziness too. Good luck to them all. On that note, this is the last word I pray I waste on talking about it. Writing things out helps me release it and get it off my chest.

Dear Lord, I give my siblings, mom, and my family all to you Jesus. We all love you in our individual ways, have accepted you as our saviors, have been baptized and filled with your blessed Holy Spirit. We are unfortunately all human and fail you daily, none more or less than the other–sin is sin. It’s only by your grace that we even know and are allowed your mercy and love. Thank you for choosing to love all of us. I pray you help us all to fulfill your purposes in this life and to please you. Protect us all from satan’s attacks and allow your peace to fill our hearts through these times in our lives. Give us your wisdom and strength to go forward for you. In Jesus’ name I ask–AMEN!

Love You Dad

Memories I cherish with my Dad:
1. We’d talk several times a day or at the least once a day around 3ish or later in evening.
2. Looking forward to hearing his Voice letting me know all about his daily tasks, journeys, hardships, routines, details that made me feel as if i knew all about him. Then sharing my day with him and knowing his advice, giggles, sadness, caring responses were all out of great love for ME.
3. Spending special times with him. Even just doing household chores, hanging out watching movies, shopping together, going out to eat, 99cent store shopping, bargain hunting, the special goodies and leftovers, the special visits when he was near my home area, the hugs, the BIG HUGS, the time he spent with Tim & Luke teaching them how to work and loving them unconditionally.

I miss you deeply Dad. I know this emptiness is filled with Jesus’s peace he brings. I pray the other siblings take care of Mom as she so desires and in a way that pleases you Lord. Its unfortunate I can’t be around the mental games, but I know you understand and will help me face the reality of this life. Love you Jesus and Thank You for the forever Treasure of knowing YOUR UNCONDITIONAL love through my earthly father’s example.

Take a minute and enjoy his notes. It will bless you.

BEWARE OF CHRISTIANS LIKE THIS
This paragraph is the perfect example of a Christian that feels they are Holier than anyone or at least me anyway. She doesn’t even know me (She knows my siblings and Mother tho LOL) and yet has made this judgment against me. Scary to know she really believes this is a way to keep peace and unity. Good try, but its time to read it back to yourself Robin and take your advice as well. I’m praying for you to see the Truth too.

”
(1) Julie, you are a much loved and very dear sister to me. I do not, however, like or appreciate the volume and vulgarity you choose to use to communicate much of which are (2)misjudgments due to lies from Satan. (3)The Bible reminds us that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers and spiritual forces in dark places. Satan is the one who comes to lie to, rob from, and kill the saints (the precious ones of Christ Jesus). In that regard, my prayers will continue for you that God will penetrate your heart and mind with His pure love, that (4)He will release you from the sins holds you in bondage. Then, you will see the truth and surrender your will fully to our Father. When you do, (and I hope that will be very soon) know that my arms are open to you. They have been always; they will be always. I cannot speak for our brothers and sister and mother. But, knowing their deep love for the Lord, I am assured that they too desire a good and loving relationship with you.”

TRANSLATION for THE NORMAL PERSON:
(This is what I hear from the above paragraph:)

1. I love you…. but I don’t like how you communicate. Why? Because its not exactly how she feels it should be done. I speak loudly and you bet I fight back when you are wrong and not just. So basically do things her way or she refuses to communicate and don’t forget YOU are the Liar all the time because anything you say is satanically influenced.
Scary… Robin I am a Christ follower just so you know. Your perspectives of me shows you don’t know me at all. Not communicating is not Love. Communication comes in many forms and who said arguments are BAD anyway? You? People disagree and you have to be willing to understand others points of view and weigh out and accept the reality. Gotta see the BIG picture.

2. Misjudgments of what? The fact that she was actually heard in front of my face talking bad about me in front of siblings. Which caused drama instead of dealing with the situation at hand. Confirming Mom’s wishes was the only answer to the disagreement at the funeral. Not stopping me from asking Mom and dramatizing that now I’m a problem for confirming Mom’s wishes. Hmm, you tell me, someone that can smile, hug, and pretend they care yet back-bites you behind your back and doesn’t think twice about how this affects you…what is that? As far as siblings & mom go.. there is no misjudgements when you are told to your face that you were Dad’s favorite, you never had a relationship with them, you are the problem all the time in their opinion even when their problems were caused by their non-relationship with our parents, ok that’s quite clear to even a moron. I see the WHOLE Picture not just the parts you want to see. So whose making misjudgments? Who’d want to be around people like this playing mind games instead of being real anyway? Not me.

3. Yes, God’s Word is true and the verse shared is the truth even in this situation. Thanks for the prayers…please pray for yourself to see the whole truth and accept the reality of it too.

4. So because she feels I’m in bondage of sin, (Of what? Getting Mad at your injustice, hatred, and jealousies towards me) I must surrender to the Lord FULLY and do things her way because she’s the perfect person that knows all things. Ok sounds harsh, but that’s how it comes across. Thing is… she doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know the life I have with Jesus and have surrendered fully to the Lord and know his mercies and grace. I know my parents too. Does this make her feel…Godly…for projecting this on me?

Clincher is… Mom is so emotionally distraught that she can only process what she is told by my siblings. In their bitterness towards me, they can’t see the REAL person I am and have rejected me completely and cruelly…with smiles on their faces and fake open arms. Crazy stuff. Only because mom now chooses to forget who I am and what I have been to her and has chosen to be manipulated and not stand up to them…. do I back off and let them rule the roost the way Dad knew they would do. Their way…isn’t Dad and Mom’s true wishes. I pray Mom gets the care she needs and I can only hope the siblings will step up for her when they chose not to ever before.

Here’s the cold hard facts:
Mom and Dad had chosen me to be their voice on their Health Directives and Will. Robin and Siblings don’t want to hear my voice representing our parents because they feel they should have been chosen to do the job or feel they could do things better. So in mom’s weakened state, the siblings have decided to completely disregard any opinion I share about Mom & Dad’s wishes and have poisoned my mother with their twisted perspective of me to attain their wishes not our parents. Yes, being who I am, a person that gets MAD at injustice, my anger gets the best of me–which any normal human being would if treated this way. So I have chosen to back off and not be a part of their ways. Amazes me how they are fake and hide behind their smiles and twists of the truth to justify what they do.
Who’d want to be a part of fakeness any way? Not me.

Yes, it hurts deeply to face the truth of our lives full on, but it is what it is.
We’ve all known it deep inside things were this way, but never faced it. I’m glad the truth has finally been revealed to me from each of them. I can accept it and choose to move on. The Lord doesn’t expect us to live in mental torment all our lives either. My siblings and Mother have pretty much died to me along with the Father I loved deeply.

Farewell fantasy family. I will miss the fantasy that I had sisters and brothers that loved me and that I loved. I just wish they could put themselves in my shoes to know how much I deeply loved them and can’t comprehend how they’ve hated me all these years beneath the fake smiles and hugs. I can’t comprehend what I’ve ever done to hurt you. I’m sorry if you feel I have done something, but without knowing what I’ve done there’s nothing I can do. I will not live under your mental tyranny as if I’m a horrible person to you–when I’ve done nothing to you. I do not accept blame for what Mom and Dad have done to you. I do not accept your blame for whatever because I cherished Dad’s love and He cherished me and my family either. Goodbye!

As God is at work in our lives, we may see only a brushstroke here or a dash of color there and say, “Wait. What is this? I don’t know if I agree.” We need to step back and give God room.
There will be an expected end. There will be a completion. And ultimately, it will be good. God had a future for Paul, and God has a future for you. And in that final day, Jesus is not going to say, “Well done, good and successful servant.” He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” So be faithful.

Beware of & Stay away from Fake people that have two faces. If you discover some, run before they torture the life out of you with their lies & perspectives

BE REAL- what you see is what you get with no mind games kind of person.

Life is too short to pretend you are family when you aren’t.
Accept the truth and move on.

If you are lucky enough to have real people in your life, treasure them and cherish every moment you are blessed with.

Dad I love you and thank you for blessing me by being real. Jesus I’m hanging onto you for dear life and you alone. Help our families. In Jesus name I ask, amen.